Lifes insane and I cant promise I'll be back anytime soon. I keep trying to get on here again and be consistant and dependable but shit keeps happening. Amongst other things I got committed for a few days and yeah I am just not in a a position to say when I'll be back or what not; but by the time Im back you can be sure as hell Im going to have a lot to upload and its going to be epic. Im impoving by leaps and bounds again. Maybe its the proportional to how shitty my life is idk but yeah Lifes shit and I cant control it. To those who call me friend know that I care about you guys and miss you. And specifically to you Red, your my little bro and one of these days Im going to show you I can be a good big brother and we'll have to hang out and have a good time.

And to you Meghan if you ever see this. Im sorry Im such a complete ass at times. You hurt me, you cut me deep without warning and my mind wasnt able to understand or take it. I am an immature person yes. Look up aspergers and you may figure why. Read the book, -Look me in the eyes- and Im sure you'll see your "loverly" in the pages. I know Im a fuck up and I know I fucked up the possibility of the friendship we may have had. Im sorry. Im sorry for all the distress and sadness I caused you after you left. It was selfish and entirely wrong of me. I said I loved you and yet I made you upset and at times did it on purpose. I wont ever do it again if I can help it. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for the trouble Ive caused. Maybe I am being arrogant but I believe there was something to forgive you about and I have. Its been hard and its taken hours of talking with friends, my psychologist/psychiatrist, and my family, but I think I understand finally why you left me, to a degree at least, but its something. Goodbye Dear, our time together was brief but beautiful and I would never go without it, your love was well worth the cost. I will always love you and you will always be in my prayers.

Yours truly,
Thomas Kaufman Toner Espinoza